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What I need is some closure. I've been chasing after him for so long, that I don't know what it is to like somebody else. I miss him so much... And yet... I've found someone else... But it's not the same... I was thinking about it the other day and I really sincerely believed that I could get over him for this someone else. . . but I can't.

Evidence? Today. I looked outside and realized it was summer. Suddenly a torrent of summer images washed over me like a giant wave and I found myself drowning in memories of the summer and him. God I miss him.

Summer. The time I've been waiting for all year. The time that I said to myself I would let my feelings go. The time when no one is busy, minds are idle, and the time I truly believed could make things change between the two of us.

Not as if, he ever had any real feelings for me I suppose. Not in that way, anyhow. I've probably been fooling myself all this time. And yet, I can't really say I ever expected more. I wouldn't be surprised if he had absolutely no feelings for me.

Perhaps that's just the protective cover I put over myself.

But now that I've met this someone else things are so different. It's someone who can actually be here for me. Someone who cares for me... More care than I actually know what to do with... It's such a comforting, yet scary feeling. No one's ever given me this 'taken care of' feeling before.

But is it right... This is summer... The time that I have been waiting for all year. And suddenly someone else comes and my plans change? What a fickle person am I to suddenly give up on my plans simply because I've been waiting for too long.

Oh, get out of my throat you stupid knot... Now's not the time to get all tied up. Sigh.

What I need is some closure.

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Posted by Kim @ 08:36 AM PST

1 has spoken

girl.. get over his nardy ass. ^_^ there is so many better things to be doing besides waiting.

Posted by katie [virtual dwelling] @ 06/09/2001 03:18 PM PST