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now when i think back about the giddiness i felt whenever i talked to him or saw him i laugh at my silliness... but then i realize that i will still always be silly that way. the sad part is that i know i'm being silly, i know that i should act cool, be more reserved -- but i can't help myself.

when i see the one i care for i feel not just my face but my whole body lighting up in a smile. it's a strange feeling to explain, but that's exactly what it feels like. i feel radiant. i feel as if nothing could go wrong in that moment and that their smile is all that's important. it makes me want to hit myself, to tell myself to calm down.

though the majority of the time i fear touch, whenever i'm around the one i care about, i'm drawn to sitting too close to them. i'm drawn to playing with their fingertips. i want to kiss their cheek. those things are so intimate to me.

it's hard for me to explain what i find intimate and why. it's weird, how in certain situations just a look will tell you more than could ever be said, or how fingers entangled with each other mean more than any words that could be expressed, or how talking with each other in the silence of the night about everything and then nothing makes you realize that you never want to go to sleep because the happiness in dreams can't equal how good it feels just to be there next to that person.

it's strange, how around different people you feel different types of happinesses, and even when it's in the same intensity, the happniess is always slightly different. it's strange how the happiness of laughing your ass off until your stomach hurts and your eyes water can be less intense than the happiness you show through smiles and soft kisses.

i love digression. i don't even remember what i was talking about in the beginning of this post. :/ the advil must be kicking in.

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Posted by Kim @ 01:36 PM PST

1 has spoken

A beautiful post Kim. You vividly capture in words the panorama of love.

I witnessed a prelude to a kiss. The girl's whole body was hanging limp being held up only by the fingertips of her boyfriend lightly gripping her jowls. Her heavy-lidded eyes were drugged in anticipation, her lips slightly parted.... I bet is was her first kiss.

Posted by Vernon [e-meo] @ 11/19/2001 09:30 PM PST