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one of the more pleasant feelings in the world is nostalgia. i'm one of those people who loves looking at old year books and pictures just because of the memeories they evoke. i love it when i smell old smells, however gross, if it reminds me of good times.

it's like the smell of musty old books. books that have been taken by water and then not completely dried before they were put away. that mildewy smell of those books in the back from the library. the smell reminds me of Nancy Drew, The Phantom Tollbooth, the Wrinkle in Time and the Boxcar children hardcovers. Always on the lower rows it seemed like, always ready to be opened and explored.

i miss those old friends. i remember a time where they were my only company.

i find myself looking at the things i'm doing now and wondering if i'll ever feel nostalgic about them -- knowing that i will. i look at things and wonder what will elicit the memories of the way i feel right now. what will make me remember back about my dorm life? what will make me think about the people i know and the situations i'm going through right now? what songs will i attatch to this time in my life? with so much changing, will i be able to remember it all?

that's one of the things that i regret about blogging sometimes. mostly i don't really write about what i actually did during the day, but more of what i think about what i did during the day. it's not actually an accurate events keeper. i guess that's what my planner is for.

i think i'm going to start writing events in my paper journal from now on. aww. my cute tarepanda journal. i've missed it a lot. i wish i was less addicted to online life and could pry myself away from the computer so i could write things other than blogs and e-mails. like paper mails and keep up my paper journal.

bleh. :P unfair, though. i can't read other people's paper journals.

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Posted by Kim @ 08:39 PM PST

3 have spoken

I know how that can be... Thinking about the past and thinking about how sweet it was even though it was just as bad. Even when I look back now at my time in middle school, I think only of the happy moments, the moments when I felt like things were at a peaceful calm and sometimes I want to go back....

But then I think about crying every night because of how alone in the world I felt and how little I could talk to anybody about anything and I realize that i'm probably better off where I am now than before.

Posted by kim @ 11/19/2001 12:38 PM PST

I think it would be pretty cool to be able to read others REAL journals, hahahaha, but maybe a bit disturbing as well?

Nostalgia: Jesse warns: the true definition is "longing for the past that wasn't really there." In other words you can fall into a trap where you are unhappy about the present, so you look to a past when times were "better," but in reality, they were probably just as bad, or maybe worse.

I am not saying you are doing this Kim, just saying what's on my mind... of course I am the biggest packrat of them all... HELL, I still have Valentine cards from KINDERGARTEN!!! hee!

Posted by Jesse [virtual dwelling] @ 11/18/2001 12:47 PM PST

im the same way... im a sentimental fool, and a hopeless romantic. i love looking at the old pictures and thinking of the old days. how id love to go back.

Posted by shozo [e-meo] [virtual dwelling] @ 11/18/2001 03:52 AM PST