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[Previous entry: "man"]
being homei'm not going to lie to you. i haven't had a very good time being at home. every moment i wish i were back in irvine where i love my surroundings, love the people around me, and most of all am away from the things here that i hate. my room, the place i know so well feels like a trap, a kennel from which i want to break away -- and yet guilt holds me back and keeps me at home even though there's nothing to do. guilt that she is forever laying on me.
--- I don't think I want to be back. I want to go home to Irvine, or at least be far away from the buddha-filled shrine that my mother calls our home. There's absolutely nothing to do there. Now I remember why I buried my head into the internet. I remember back at all the times when my mother would not let me go out. All the times when I had to stay inside the house when my friends all went out. It's all the more apparent now, when I finally am able to break away from it. i hate being at home. . . . James seems different now. More reserved, more quiet, less jolly. I might be perceiving things differently, but I don't know. I suppose it's to be expected, considering everything he's been going through. His surgery is tomorrow. I made him a present... something of a charm, but I can't give it to him now because it's too rainy and too stormy for me to drive all the way to San Mateo. I hate it! I can't get myself out of this hell hole. --- This entry feels long, but I think it will be one of the last entries few entries i write for this winter vacation unless I buy myself a modem. I don't have any way to connect to the Internet otherwise unless I come here every day. Maybe I'll put that into practice, though. It'll give me time away from home. I miss you. All of you. ----Posted by Kim @ 12:20 PM PST
3 have spoken
hello. t minus 3.5 hrs till operation fix-hand.
im off to super stanford land.
Posted by james @ 12/21/2001 10:38 AM PST
you're missed too. the trip up north has never been so filled with chatty activity. I wish I could've saved some of the things we talked about.. like an IM convo! :)
and im thinking you would spell it
Posted by way [virtual dwelling]
@ 12/21/2001 08:50 AM PST
you're missed too. the trip up north has never been so filled with chatty activity. I wish I could've saved some of the things we talked about.. like an IM convo! :)
and im thinking you would spell it
Posted by way [virtual dwelling]
@ 12/21/2001 08:50 AM PST
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