All it took was a few hours of happiness. A few hours where I wasn't plagued with the nagging thoughts that I'm a terrible person, a few hours to forget that I don't like myself and all the things around me. It seems, that's all I needed to bring myself to the other side of neutrality. The one where it's a void, but a contentment.
I can't say that all the angry feelings towards myself are gone, and I can't say that I fully love myself the way that I used to only a few months back, but it seems bearable now. I feel like I can get through this. I no longer feel like my brain is imploding, that I'm being sucked into myself, into a place where no one can reach or help, no matter how loudly I cry out for help.
I feel like I can be stronger. It'll be a long road, but now it doesn't seem so impossible. Optimism is on the horizon!! :D
hahaha... nah, its' not just because of my fish... Lots of drama has been going on lately -- mostly in my head. . . so i've been having a hard time dealing with it. :P
Posted by kim @ 05/06/2002 09:33 PM PST
Hey... sup? this is my first post here. i've been frequenting here for bout a week now... sry to hear about your fish is that why this post was so gloomy? I'm kinda lost here but eh? maybe im not suposed to understand... well i just wanna say whatever it is, it will be okay in the end.
