28 have spoken

Posted by Jesus [e-meo] [virtual dwelling] @ 05/16/2002 06:43 AM PST

damn..I just read all this ish Kim. People are hating on you madd style. Just thought I'd say that. Peace.

Posted by Jesus [e-meo] [virtual dwelling] @ 05/16/2002 06:42 AM PST

a bad day yesterday, eh? just surfin the net-thought I'd give a notion of my feeling towards this topic/track/emotion. I am in the midst of finals in U of M and am feeling an insomnia coming on.

I understand a bit of what your going through. It isn't just a bad day, or month, more of a time of finding things out, feeling the world out of sorts. That is how i approach these mental ills. I am in college, on my way out(hopefully), and have gone through some(i am definately aware enough to realize that I'm still yet a zygote-human >>22yrs-old).

Plenty of nights were spent with needles or razor blades(cutting more than lines), I never let any of it take away from decent grades(if they look good then most everyone thinks everything is perfect--odd, yet ironic, considering the rest of the shit we deal with is WAY more important); but I spent enought time depressed to know how it has turned out for me and those i am close to in similar situations.

I have to say: you did the right thing by making an attempt to find a 'professional' ear for your sitution. My advice would be to go through those ears like contacts until you find one that you like. I, as well as two friends of mine, did the same in past years with wonderous results. I usually feel that drugs and medications are not a long-term answer, just a fun distraction at times.

However, growing up under a bi-polar father allowed me to find the enlightenment that medication is sometimes more appealing than to catch a ride to hell on a regular basis.

You will figure out what is right for you, all you need is time to take you there. One thing i am sure of, that is to take on as optimistic approach to this shite as possible, only good things come from such.

Much love and luck(not that you'd need it, i'm not kissing your ass, but you seem to be strong enough of the mental to get through this with just a lil time on your side)...

Posted by jaime [e-meo] @ 05/14/2002 11:04 PM PST

The psychiatrist was able to diagnose you over ONE sitting? Damn, she must be good or really crazy herself. Many psychiatrists pull stuff out of their asses. You shouldn't even bother to get a second opinion however, if it would bring you peace of mind to do so, by all means- gO!

I don't know you personally, yet I feel that the only reason why you're on this roller coaster ride between depression and manic activity is this: you're a college student.

I'm sure you're A-OK. I went to a psychiatrist TWICE, and the stupid bitch told me I was depressed. I wasn't: I was just growing up.

Posted by kristine [e-meo] [virtual dwelling] @ 05/14/2002 11:34 AM PST

to d.flow, dave, theresa and those of you that know me personally, i'd like to thank you for your thoughts and support of my decisions.

i have quite a few things to say towards the rest of the people who replied here:

stephen: from my personal experience, the only people who are as simplistic as you claim, male or female, are generally unintelligent. there are not many men that I actually enjoy the company of that don't have some complexity to them. i don't think you should generalize the male sex just because you and the people that you are in contact with are a certain way.

brooke: i'm glad you were able to get out of your depression; however, i think that everyone has their own way of dealing with things, and that when that way doesn't work it's imperative to seek outside resources. personally, i have too much on the line for me to even let this go on for even one more year. thanks for your comments, though, no offense taken.

ode: i'm sorry to burst your bubble, but my ups and downs and whatnot have a little more substance to them than losing my keys. when i was down a couple weeks ago, i didn't go through one day where i didn't consider ramming my car into a passing truck or popping things into my mouth that i knew could kill me. try holding a blade to your wrist with tears running down your eyes -- tears that haven't stopped for hours - saying to yourself 'this is wrong. this is wrong... but i must punish myself'... and tell me about your ups and downs afterwards.

ken: I think that you have a good point -- who DOES decide what is 'normal'? --however, when I find myself engaging in dangerous activity or having suicidal thoughts in my head with myself ** this close to acting upon them, I PERSONALLY don't consider it normal, and this is why I seeked help.

david (enigma): I think that you're the one full of bullshit. you should look a little closer into psychiatry before you make assumptions of what they do and what they don't do. true, there are many questions about your feelings and why YOU think you feel that way, but a lot of it also has to do with your genetic history and your previous reactions to medications. psychiatry is a lot different than psychology -- and I think you have the two mixed up. "that is so.. me ... except for the depressed part" -- then it isn't you, is it?

Posted by kim @ 05/13/2002 05:23 PM PST

why are girls always so f-d up in the head? i swear... 80% of all girls i know have something going on wrong. why can't they be more simple and straight forward thinking like guys?

all we really think about is sex... and being #1 top dog!! i guess simplifying ones life makes things alot easier :)

Posted by stephen @ 05/13/2002 04:44 PM PST

alright...i guess it didn't link right...anyway deacerte.diary-x.com was where i spilled my guts.

Posted by brooke @ 05/13/2002 04:13 PM PST

i sincerely hope you feel better. i know what you're going through, or at least, i can relate to what you're going through. my two cents...just don't take what i had to say the wrong way.

Posted by brooke [e-meo] @ 05/13/2002 04:12 PM PST

dont' worry we all have our ups and downs. Just today I almost thought I lost my keys, but then I realized they were in my pants

chill out david, you need to go smoke some hippie lettuce and mello out. Tommorrow another day

Posted by Ode @ 05/13/2002 12:28 PM PST

hey all you fucking losers browsing the web to talk shit to a "teensy" "bi" girl, i'll fucking kick your ass.

if i ever see you on the dance floor at some club or party i'll be the asshole making fun of your Internet influenced dancing from all the time you spend online talking shit to "teensy" "hos" online. Because i can guarantee that the fucking loser who can't reveal his real identity is a piece of shit loser who isn't going anywhere. why don't you give me your fucking phone number and i'll give you a piece of my mind you fucking prick.

Posted by dave [virtual dwelling] @ 05/13/2002 10:59 AM PST

i have something to say about it too.

Posted by theresa @ 05/13/2002 09:14 AM PST

ahahah i find it hilarious that ppl that dont even know u give u shiet kim... lol i agree with what daves says but like u im too lazy to elaborate ;) ahha hope u have a nice day kim

Posted by Paul [e-meo] @ 05/12/2002 11:49 PM PST

That girl ain't cute, she's just another asian ho. Her life is just a bunch of fucking drama. "Oh! I'm just a bisexual tart online teehee! They think i'm beautiful and sexy teehee! Watch me fish for compliments teehee!"

LOser bitch

Posted by fuck ya all!! [virtual dwelling] @ 05/12/2002 05:47 PM PST

and dv.flow, you totally understand the reality. most of the people who are here, take a look at her pitures and treat her like a child or assume because she look so cute her life must be cute.

the guys on here make sexist comments saying that her problems are not really problems, and that oh, she can get out of it, life has ups and downs, you must be a dumb little broad like all the other dumb little broads... if guys only knew...

Posted by dave @ 05/12/2002 02:33 PM PST

all of you don't know 1/10 of what she went through, and maybe if you heard the 1/10, you'd quickly change your mind. the fact of the matter, there is a reason for anyone feeling badly, and staying in a shitty job and losing a girlfriend. or getting discharged from the airforce. the fact of the matter is, kim is the way she is, and if there is a problem, she made the choice to actively seek a solution, and i applaud her for it. she examined herself, and she made her decision.

she doesn't need naive people telling her their depressing stories. have you ever seen someone stabbed or been held at gun point or has someone abused you when you were a kid or has your father beat you up with a big stick and have you ever been afraid from the cops. not that that's kim not that that's me, but even i've gone through more pain than the 3 one of you listed in the past 5 months.

the fact of the matter is, everyone, kim is kim, and she knows herself the best. she fully understands that our society doesn't think there are mental illnesses, that our society to consider physical illnesses more threatening than psychological illnesses, that medication for personality and mood are wrong, regardless of what has happened to you. nobody understands that kim has tried to cope by herself and who she is by herself, and that she is doing this voluntarily without anyone forcing her to go.

have you ever been with anyone that has experienced real pain? have you ever experienced with real trauma? no? fuck you. maybe after you spend 3 weeks crying and shutting down from reality because of something in YOUR past experience, like getting your toilet clogged or tripping yourself on some crack pipes, you can claim that you don't need meds and all psychological diagnosis are false.

Posted by dave @ 05/12/2002 02:30 PM PST

all of you don't know 1/10 of what she went through, and maybe if you heard the 1/10, you'd quickly change your mind. the fact of the matter, there is a reason for anyone feeling badly, and staying in a shitty job and losing a girlfriend. or getting discharged from the airforce. the fact of the matter is, kim is the way she is, and if there is a problem, she made the choice to actively seek a solution, and i applaud her for it. she examined herself, and she made her decision.

she doesn't need naive people telling her their depressing stories. have you ever seen someone stabbed or been held at gun point or has someone abused you when you were a kid or has your father beat you up with a big stick and have you ever been afraid from the cops. not that that's kim not that that's me, but even i've gone through more pain than the 3 one of you listed in the past 5 months.

the fact of the matter is, everyone, kim is kim, and she knows herself the best. she fully understands that our society doesn't think there are mental illnesses, that our society to consider physical illnesses more threatening than psychological illnesses, that medication for personality and mood are wrong, regardless of what has happened to you. nobody understands that kim has tried to cope by herself and who she is by herself, and that she is doing this voluntarily without anyone forcing her to go.

have you ever been with anyone that has experienced real pain? have you ever experienced with real trauma? no? fuck you. maybe after you spend 3 weeks crying and shutting down from reality because of something in YOUR past experience, like getting your toilet clogged or tripping yourself on some crack pipes, you can claim that you don't need meds and all psychological diagnosis are false.

Posted by dave @ 05/12/2002 02:30 PM PST

I'm not a shrink and the highest level of psychology I've taken is the college GE course. So I have some questions for everyone to think about:

1) Will you feel or act differently after the treatments or after you have "recovered"? (and the success rate of such treatments?)

2) Whats considered normal and abnormal? Who labels it? And whatever organization that labels it, where do they get their funding from?

Posted by Ken [e-meo] [virtual dwelling] @ 05/10/2002 12:54 AM PST

I think most of you are underestimating the power of chemical inbalances. I think a select few of us can testify to the power of the (un)thankfully short durations we have experienced? If you don't, you're totally missing the point and I feel sorry for you. I hope you live past 30.

Too many of you are ignoring the fact that bipolar 2 is a documented and studied characteristic of people. Psychiatry is a valid and important field of study that many of you are just plain ignoring. Despite what many of you think, psychiatrists do not just go around drugging people up for no reason.

If you look at the remedies for bipolar 2 you'll see that councelling is one of the key solutions. Even though there are some bad psychiatrists, the majority know that drugs alone do not solve problems.

Kim's an adult now, treat her as such. It's funny how so many comment posters paint such pretty pictures for her and hide the harsh reality.

Posted by dv.flow @ 05/09/2002 11:18 PM PST

Dude sweet i learned a new word!!!! "Hypomania!" That word is like soo... me! except i don't have many of the "major depressive periods" as they call them...

Bipolar 2? I've read it and i think its bull. If you analize almost everyone actions you'll find that almost 60% of people you look at will have 90% of the symptoms.

Plus psychiatrist are just there two ask you three questions...

1)What is your problem?
2)How do you feel about this?
3)What can you do about it?

these questions are all a shrink will ask you except they will be more detailed eg. "What do you thinks could have caused the depresed state your in now?" They are like drugs. You go there sitdown tell them your problems they pretend to care then when your time is up tell you to get out and tell them the rest next time.

What your realy need is just someone to talk to someone who you can tell anything. a person who will always be there for you. okay this is gettin too long. Well i hope you find whats right for you. TTYL

Posted by David [e-meo] [virtual dwelling] @ 05/09/2002 06:27 PM PST

it's kinda funny how most of the responses end up with people talkin' about their own problems and lives and hopes and dreams and methods of accomplishing things. "i" is the most vile word in the language, that and all its derivates. anyway. it's unlikely that any of us whose opinions you don't care for and who you don't know in person will have any influence whatsoever on how you think or feel or what you do, yet some of us post anyway. sigh. oh well, nothing better to do, and if there's even a minuscule chance something we say can be of help, it's worth it.
to the best of your professed ability, have a good day.

imp-

Posted by impaired- @ 05/09/2002 04:01 PM PST

Whoa.
I just read what the bipolar 2 is.

I wonder if I have it too.

Posted by Stephanie @ 05/09/2002 02:24 PM PST

don't go to shrinks. most of them suck and will only delay you fom finding the truth within.

fighting the blues is really not so hard, it begins with accepting that life is both high and low. Feel what you're feeling and feel it fully no matter what it is. Don't try to hold onto it if it feels good and don't try to escape if it feels bad. In fact when you do just the opposite, the feelings transform themselves magically and you'll stop being a slave to your ups and downs.

Posted by potch @ 05/09/2002 09:32 AM PST

crazy girls are so sexy

Posted by Ode @ 05/09/2002 08:45 AM PST

crazy girls are so sexy

Posted by Ode @ 05/09/2002 08:44 AM PST

Creative work done during heightened energy phase before you "crash". Hmmm, I wonder... does this include alternations between studying and doing all my homework for one month and screwing all work by just sleeping in for the next month? I go through excited/creative phases to starvation/sleep-in spells. They told me I might need medication, but I never believed you were sick until you felt sick. But I dunno now that I see this... :-/

Posted by babysharka @ 05/09/2002 03:58 AM PST

Howdy:

You aren't a nutcase. Not that you really need to be told that. As for bipolar, I don't know what it is. If it isn't good, then you probably aren't it.

And careful about how you ask for a second opinion. A psychiatrist once told me I was crazy; I said I'm going to go for a second opinion and she told me that I'm ugly, too. >.<

Posted by Arichi @ 05/09/2002 12:50 AM PST

well, after reading your little bipolar page again, i feel like i have been in the depressive phase of type 2 for over 4 years now. that really sucks. oh well, that is my life and i must suffer through it till the bitter end. whenever that might be. =]

Posted by pariah [e-meo] @ 05/08/2002 08:48 PM PST

well, all i have to say is this: you are not bi-polar. you are just going through a normal phase of life, and yes, it sucks. i myself had a year or two that i was totally depressed: getting discharged from the air force, losing my hot girlfriend to her sunday school teacher, and staying on a shitty job that i hated.

but look at me now. i'm 24 and i am almost better. i still have my ups and downs (mostly downs), but i have perservered (i hope thats how you spell it!) i have suffered through it and have come out a better person (hopefully).

i go out and do things that i never thought i could do while i was down in the dumps. i put on shows for people while i am playing DDR Max 2 at the local mall. people come to me and ask what the hell i am doing, and it makes me feel better knowing that someone is interested in me and my abilities.

on a totally different note, i really love your site. its not stagnant and boring. it comstantly changes, like someones moods.

i hope you get better. =]

Posted by pariah [e-meo] @ 05/08/2002 08:25 PM PST