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200364

back in the day..

Two years ago around this time

I didn't have time to write in my blog because I was so busy enjoying life. I was busy with school, friends, preparing for college, loving everything.

One year ago around this time

I had just began medicating myself for bi-polar disorder. I was too busy trying to enjoy life that I couldn't enjoy it.

I wrote:
I'm weirded out by the fact that I can be happy. I'm weirded out by the fact that I can be okay, not sad, not obsessed with my impending insanity -- or death. It freaks me out that I feel like I'm possibly okay. That I might become my old self again. That I might be happy again.

Today I feel

Today I feel like I'm at the same place I was a year ago, yet so far away. I've advanced in that I have found my ability to be happy again, however, I'm in the same place because of late I've been getting anxiety attacks again. Now, though, I have vowed not to medicate myself because I realise that I can't really feel happy on meds without wondering if the happiness is fabricated.

Where will I be a year from now, I wonder?

----

[Link] [2 have spoken] [Archives]

Posted by Kim @ 11:59 AM PST

2 have spoken

I know this prolly doesn't mean much, and might be cliche, but Don't worry be happy. Sometimes I don't understand what you're righting about. But, If you're sad there's always our apartment thats welcome for you to come make up cheers and play video games.

Posted by Larry @ 06/06/2003 12:31 AM PST

I also know what it's like to suffer from anxiety attacks.
It is a constant war with your self.
I also took meds in the past but, the pills ran out.
So I begain to fight it some days I have anxiety but for the most part I am ok.
It has been 4 months sence I had my pills.
I can not let it take me I can fight it and so can you.

Posted by phantom309 [e-meo] @ 06/04/2003 04:57 PM PST

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