Need to get away. Need to have a release of some kind. A purging. And I don't mean I need to take a shit, either. I need a katharsis of the mind. I need to break through these boundries that I've set for myself.
I think I tell myself that at least ten times a day. It never works.
The only time that I've ever been able to break away, it feels, is when I don't even think about it. Going through boundries is such an effortless thing, yet it becomes increasingly difficult when I try.
I feel like all I write about is how much I fail at everything. How I'm worthless, how I'm useless. How I can't be happy, even when I'm happy.
I'd like to believe that's not true, but reading back, it seems like its hard for me to think about good things... That's why I'm going to write one happy thing in each entry from now on.
Incidentally, I have a job interview tomorrow. I know I'll do well.
You've done a lot of stuff in your life Kim. Anywhere from school to simple things in life like friends. You got nothing to look down on. TURN THAT FROWN UPSIDE DOWN WOMAN! =D
I think it doesn't matter as much to me how I am as compared to other people as I care about what I think I could potentially be.
Comparing myself to others makes me happy for a short period of time. Succeeding in something I'm not sure I can succeed in makes me proud.
Posted by Kim @ 06/06/2003 12:25 PM PST
Failure? You've accomplished more at your age, than I have. Now I know that I have no right to judge, based up on the fact that all this is, is your blog. But just for the fact that you are in school, puts you above so many others that did not go that route. Its hard to find that silver lining at times, but once you do find it, then things won't be so bad.
