The human brain was only created to handle so much Anime in the span of 24 hours. Bad anime that is. You know, the kind where the animation gets worse as the series progresses because they run out of money. I think I'm going to be sick. Anyhow. Time to finish Vandread.
Today I went to the gas station for the second time in my life alone. I'm still not good at pulling up to things (especially in small places), so I was kinda far away from the pump. So then I'm like Okay, I'll just stretch it to my car. It worked, but then it kept popping up and my arms weren't strong enough to keep it down, so I kind of thought about it, looked around (heh) and promptly straddled the gas pump line to keep the pump from popping up.
Lucky for me, somebody saw my plight and came by to hold the line down for me a little bit. What a nice man!! I feel bad though, I never thanked him. :( I just went back to the people's place, got my change, went back to my car and drove away. Awww. ^_^ People are nice, though!
This guy, Pei, writes exceptionally well for somebody who lives in a non-English speaking country. About 30 times better than most of the native English speakers I know. He's not even in the 'Language' route in his school, he's in the 'All Science' route. What is this? Sigh, Americans will be sorry one day, when our people are all idiots and some tiny Asian/European country decides to take over the world.
Differences between a blog and a diary... And then something in between. A hybrid of what is going on outside, and inside. Some say that there is a definite difference between the two -- And after reading about it, I agree. However, what about us - the second generation webloggers/journalists. Like children of the beautiful mating of the weblog and the journal... This has become a daily look at my insides and outsides. Of course, oftentimes, my life IS the internet... So the line becomes even fuzzier.
I say that it doesn't matter much, to define whether or not you're an online journal-writer or a web-logger as long as it suits your personality and allows you to express yourself, it's fine. ^_^ Vive l'internet. I'm a mutt.
One of those people's whos stories captivate. Sort of like "Short Program" the manga. Different stories with no connection to each other. It's all about his life though. So I suppose the writing is somehow connected. But still. So interesting... It's scary and rare to find someone who's page you read all the way through. With this guy around, I won't need to buy new novels. Wooot woot! Ahh.. My new favourite site (besides the people I know in person, that is). My Stupidities: "Pay the plumber what he wants" -- This reminds me of every guy I know.
I notice myself reading blogs written by guys more than girls. Perhaps it's because I enjoy the masculine writing style better. Maybe it's because I see to much of the feminine style in my own writing. I can't tell.
subject: Michelle has flash site!
time: 07:14 AM PST
dear friend,
Redinque WOOOT WOOOT!! My hostees are so talented!! ;_; Makes me want to play with flash again.. I haven't done it in soooOooo long!! Ahh... And I HAVE been saying that I'n bored of HTML... OMG I'm such a copy cat.... Hahahahaa... But nah for real! Check out Michelle's site... It's soooo super toiteness. (Annd Kawaii!)
You know, I don't really find anything wrong with pornos... Except for maybe those pornos that are like S&M or rapish or something. =T Any time when people are getting hurt, it's bad. But you know, porn w/ two lovingish people. I like it. ^_^;
After experiencing two types of porn, American and Japanese (Not Anime). I have come to the conclusion that I am not an American porn type person. Why? Well, let me outline the differences in the two porns.
American: Though this porno starred Asia Carrera and a bunch of other asian people, it was a classic american porno. There was the skanky music in the background. There was smoke. Random pillows thrown about the place. The men were all white too. It also had a plot, which freaked me out and made me confused. The moaning was reaaaaally extra loud on my speakers, but the talking parts I could barely hear. The men had really really ultra big penises. An then on the American porn, they zoomed in on the private parts and stayed on each scene for heecka long.
Japanese: First of all, the girls were waaaay cuter. There's no plot, really, everybody pretty much gets down to business up in there. Hah! The Japanese porn I watched was lesbian, so there were no penises for me to worry about. There was no music! It was great... Plus the girls moaned more naturally. Instead of "OOOOOHHHH YEAHHH UHHHH UHHHH UHHHH FUUUCK ME" of the stereotypical porno star (which was how it was on the american porn) it was more of a quiet "ah ah ah ahhh" Which to me, seems much more natural. HEH. There's also a mosaic over the private parts... Which I like, because it leaves more to the imagination.
So, there you are. This blog really IS what's on my mind at any given moment.
I've never been much of a perfectionist. And I'm not really a bitch. I don't smell like kiwi... And even if I DO like to masturbate, I don't really feel like sharing it with the world. But... I guess that's how it is on the web.
I've been looking around at all these webrings/clique sites. They're all supposed to be original... and I have to admit, I joined fifty or sixty webring/cliques in my own day. I still like to apply sometimes now. Just to see if my site still has it. Has what? I don't know. Whatever 'design' skills it takes to get into a webring/clique.
The thing about webrings and cliques nowadays, though... Is that they all seem the same. 90% of the femme ones have a scantily clad woman on it with the loopy feathery script writing proclaiming their name. Yes. I mean you.
Then, there's always the requirements. Do not TyPe LyKe DiS. Match your colors. You must be a girl. You must have a website. You must have good design. Or at least design that pleases the eye of the ring/clique owner.
Ahhh... Is originality wasted on the 'net? I mean, even I'm not more original than any other weblogger. Even if I wish I WERE special. We're all just a bunch of followers afterall. Sigh. I need to get a life or something, and stop thinking about random stuff.
But this actually exists. pinoy.blogspot.com. I wonder who he is. I'm jealous. He hasn't blogged in forever, either. More jealousy. I want that name goddamnit. Why am i blogging so much in little chunks today? It's because I'm annoyed. And I have very little on my mind. AiEeesh.
This guy fascinatees me... I guess anybody who calls themselves Nesto voluntarily would. ^_^ It's funny, though. I guess there really isn't much here... But I like it anyhow. He's a crazy kind of cute. ^_^
I know I decided on the naked women, but the mens on my desktop are sooo cute!! So, tell me, which one should I pick.... The mens on my desktop display... Or the girl... >>>
Omg it's me! ^_^ Do I look cute here do I look cute here? Please say yes, or I'll be very sad. Just playing... Man, it's so weird to see myself like this... In graduation garb and all... You can't tell, but I'm wearing two stoles hehhe... Of course, KEY Club dominates! Woot woot! KEY CLUB Pride!!
My coolest Pinoy bud from comic-con, Jay is on a 'break' with his girlfriend. Ahh.. For some reason that depresses me. =T I know he loves her so much and wants everything to her... I wish I could do something to cheer him up. =T Don't worry thou, Jay... Everything will work out in the end... I believe in it! :T Promise you'll let me give you a hug @ the Con. ^_^* I can't wait to see you again. We'll have fun anyway, right right?
Katie has a friend named Campbell. I live in a town named Campbell. Katie has a friend named Christopher. I live on a street named Christopher. However, only Ray has a friend named Cali.
subject: What's up with all this NAKED ish?
time: 06:51 AM PST
dear friend,
Last 10 queries :
high resolution pictures
short naked cuties
shaved head high school f
Faye Valentine Pics
sandwich board nude
drunk girl pics
naked fat girl picture
short and lonley
Whassupp!.wav
hair between knuckles on
^_^ I'm kind of liking this Vinh guy, he posts a lot up i here. Bwhahhahaa.. Unlike certain somebodies who read my blog all the time (>cough patrick<) Hahah just playing... And the best part is, he doesn't make fun of me like Patrick does. -.- HN! I'll keew you... Not vinh. Patrick. Haha. But yeah. YAY! New poster... go ME... I feel so loved and read.
Today is the day I will get my package in the mail! go me go me! GO OPANE.COM! Everybody click the link @ the bottom of this post. ^_^* It allows me to get more packages! HEHEHE... ^_^ It feels good. I like packages. And think about it.. If you clicked on it, you contributed to my woot woot happiness! HEHE!!
I'm scared about going to Anime Expo with Jason. I'm scared about meeting him again. What if meeting him again this time is the same with every time I've met him during this past year... Falling more deeply into infatuation each time. Feeling regretful each time... Feeling things so strongly that I think that they shouldn't be reserved for one human being alone.
What if I hurt Jason, what then. What if I gain the hatred of all his friends... His friends that have been so nice to me and let me into their world so easily. What if I hurt Jason?
Then, what if I don't feel the same... What do I do? It's never happened before... How will I know how to react? Patrick says I think too much. Maybe I do. I can't help it. I even think in my sleep. I guess that's why I never quite feel refreshed when I wake up. I'm tired of thinking.
I'm tired of worrying. I'm tired of my life. (Except for Katie... Because she's perfect... :P I love you Katie.)
At first I thought Katie was talking aboot my letters. I was like... Me? Painful? And then.. I realised. Wait... I haven't sent mine yet. -.-; God, I can be such a ditz sometimes.
If he had replied INTERESTINGLY I would have wanted to continue the conversation. People are stupid. And boring.
mister6six (8:02:06 PM): oh fer reels
mister6six (8:02:11 PM): thats kewl
kimtoxication (8:02:16 PM): Uh
mister6six (8:02:18 PM): where u from
kimtoxication (8:02:18 PM): can you stop that
kimtoxication (8:02:21 PM): that really annoys me
mister6six (8:02:28 PM): stop what
kimtoxication (8:02:29 PM): I'm from San Jose
kimtoxication (8:02:31 PM): talking like that
mister6six (8:02:38 PM): like what
kimtoxication (8:02:41 PM): 'oh fer reels'
kimtoxication (8:02:45 PM): 'that's kewl'
mister6six (8:02:49 PM): why
mister6six (8:02:52 PM): ok sorry
kimtoxication (8:03:03 PM): Its annoying as hell
mister6six (8:03:05 PM): can i get your name
kimtoxication (8:03:09 PM): ....
mister6six (8:03:11 PM): sorry already
kimtoxication (8:03:13 PM): It's Kim
mister6six (8:03:22 PM): hi kim nice to meet u
kimtoxication (8:03:33 PM): hi
mister6six (8:03:59 PM): whats your nationality
kimtoxication (8:04:05 PM): vietnamese
mister6six (8:04:08 PM): and how old are you
kimtoxication (8:04:15 PM): I'm 68 years old
mister6six (8:04:22 PM): okay
mister6six (8:04:37 PM): right
kimtoxication (8:05:03 PM): It's true
mister6six (8:05:04 PM): are you joking
mister6six (8:05:09 PM): okay
kimtoxication (8:05:16 PM): I'm also a gay male
mister6six (8:05:16 PM): if you say so
mister6six (8:05:27 PM): ok
mister6six (8:06:20 PM): i guess you dont want to talk to me or something
kimtoxication (8:06:29 PM): ?
mister6six (8:06:31 PM): ill just let you go then
kimtoxication (8:06:32 PM): What gave you that idea
mister6six (8:06:38 PM): kay bye
kimtoxication (8:06:43 PM): Che
kimtoxication (8:06:45 PM): People are so boring
Self pity, confusion, regrets, and absolute shit. Can't get my mind off things that don't mean anything in the big scheme of my life. Can't do anything but smile and remind myself that I like everything in this life.
Where am I going in my life? College? And then what... A job? Will my job take me 'somewhere'? Where is somewhere. I don't know where. I feel like a blind kitten just out of the womb, pawing pawing trying to find a nice warm comfortable spot among all the other starving kittens around me.
What is college for? What is it that I REALLY want? Why don't I know the answers to the questions that are about myself? I'm the fucking expert on myself, afterall.
Who will be there for me when everything is all over? Which ones are the right friends to choose? Confusion. What is the right thing to do? Why do I never seem to do it? Anger. Why does everybody hate me? Why do I do everything incorrectly? Frustration. Pain. Suffering.
Seems like I've been tipped onto the negative side of the optimism scale.
So my mom reads my fucking letters to people. So she gives me a lecture on morality and sex. I ask her why she brings this up. So she tells me she 'mistakely' read my letters. So I ask how can you 'MISTAKELY' read my letters. She replies with - Because I was 'cleaning' your desk. That brought up the question - Why are you cleaning my desk? I cleaned it yesterday. Why are you reading my letters to people? -I didn't want to throw them away she says. I thought they were important papers or something so I read them. So I thought - HOW THE FUCK do Hello Kitty papers look fucking official. Get off of me.
subject: Patrick seems shocked...
time: 12:31 PM PST
dear friend,
Patrick: omg
Patrick: u saved it
Patrick: u pervert
Patrick: hahaha
Kim: BWHAHAHHAHAHA
Kim: i put it on my webpage that why
Patrick: umm
Patrick: nah uh
Patrick: i ha te u
Patrick: hahaha
Kim: i save all our conversations
Kim: ^_^*
Kim: they dont know which patrick it is
Patrick: omg
Kim: a shower sounds so yummy rightn ow
Patrick: haha
Kim: i've never taken a shower with a nother man before
Patrick: im kinda curious about htose
Patrick: adult anime
Patrick: reallie
Patrick: that is soo dope
Patrick: take a bath
Patrick: with another guy
Patrick: candles
Patrick: scented candles everywhere
Patrick: bubbles
Patrick: soap
Patrick: water..
Patrick: sex..
Patrick: well not sex..
Patrick: but jus caressing
Patrick: it is dope foreplay
Patrick: you should try that
subject: One..Mouthful...Left...
time: 10:59 AM PST
dear friend,
Don't you hate it when you're eating and you suddenly realize you're full ... And you only have one mouthful left?.... You know it's a waste to throw it away... But one more bite and the whole meal will be ruined for you... And your stomach will be near explosion? WAAHHHHH WHY ME?!
subject: The best part of Fast and furious
time: 02:14 PM PST
dear friend,
Was the fact that since it was opening night, the theater was jammed w/ people who were racers themselves. Hahaha... I have never seen a parking lot so filled with rice rockets.... And even more.. I've never seen a parking lot empty so quickly in my life. ^^ By the time I reached my car, the parking lot was EMPTY. HAHAHA like.. Deserted. It was great.
Quite possibly the worst movie I have ever seen in my entire life. Hahaha... Have to admit though, the cars are pretty damn tight!! UWAAA!! I want to drive a car like that now! I have an integra I have an integra... With $10,000 more dollars maybe I can make it look tight... HEHE.. just playing, though... ^_^* I like my little car the way it is. Awwww...
Yesterday I got blue hello kitty decal. So now she's hanging out on my gas tank thingie... AHHAA and on my window.. you know how ppo usually have "streetracing.org" and that kind of stuffs? Mine says "hello kitty" WOO WOOO... Hella sporting the sanrio!!
I'm going to miss Jason so much when I go to college. Who's gonna take care of me and show me how to use vending machines and tell me to take my medicine and get me band-aids and hug me when i'm sad? :T and watch anime with me.... and be silly with me... and just be there for me whenever I need somebody? Bleh. I guess I shouldn't think about it. =T
Woo... Classs again today. Does that class ever get less boring? ^_^ At least I have some interesting people in it, and my teacher is a flamer. He's hilarious.
Some consolation is that Jason's coming over for dinner tonight AND we're going out to dinner tomorrow night! ^___^ Woohooo. LUCKY!.... Fun Fun. I can't wait... We're probably gonna sit around and watch anime after... LUCKY!! I love anime!
Just realized I was supposed to call Jason last night. =*( I forgot. And I didnt realize that i was supposed to call him when he was going to bed... Sigh, now I feel really bad... Aiieee.
subject: Ahhh... Daily Grind...
time: 07:12 AM PST
dear friend,
7:05. Too early to go to school. Too late to go back to bed. I have a stomach ache and I have to take my medication. GREAT. Maybe I should try to take a shit before I do anything.
On a brighter note, I talked to Nick for the first time in ages last night. Didn't go to bed until well into 3 in the morning. Forgotten how we could talk for so long about nothing in particular. Miss it.
This morning, couldn't take it anymore and went to albertson's to go buy a freaking eye solution. Got hit on by a cashier person. Again. What is it with these desparate cashier people? I should stop going to cashiers with young guys. This morning, I didn't have a choice.
Earned $2.oO on opane.com yesterday. Good thing, since I spent $17.00 and totally forgot about adding on the $1.99 kogepan cellphone chain I've been coveting. Now I've given up on that and am moving on to bigger and better things. The $21.99 heart cellphone chain. ^_^ wish me luck and click the links!
Went out to lunch at a thai place yesterday. No wonder my stomach feels funny.
And tired. Both physically and emotionally. I don't know why. It just feels like I'm being drained... And I don't know where the leak is. I'm always tired now. Where did all of my energy go? :T
It blows my mind that people can actually talk like this. It seems to take so much more effort than regular typing.
well..todae iz reallie mai first official dae of summer..en itz pretty dayam boring ..so yeah..todae i went online..talked on tha fone..went ta 7-11..slurpee..oOo en then went ta natasias house ta drop sumthin off..fun huh?? not reallie but whutever..mai throat iz killin meeh! ..yeah..i woke up en whoa! it hurt soo much! lol..yoo kno..players are going to play.. haters are going to hate..ballers are going to ball..shot callers are going to call..en so on en so on..hehehe do yoo like mai not so ghetto version..okae that wuz stoopid..okae this iz all useless info so imma go now byeee
I can't decide whether I'm impressed, or sick to my stomach.
subject: I'm too serious these days
time: 04:31 PM PST
dear friend,
What happened to those times/when we would sit around spittin rhymes/Sittin, kickin it online/Taking up all the tyme/Bein' cute carefree and always inclined/to be the playa and not the played/Why couldn't we have stayed/That way/Aii Katie/You'll still always be my lady/Even if we're both goddamn shady as hell baby/Together we'll kick some ask and maybe/Buy some men's pocky/Eat it up and kick some men's cocky/Ooo baby I'm naughty/Aiite this rhyme's getting shoddy/ Leyts
Boy am I vain. All I do is sit around, pamper myself and think about myself all day. I swear, I have never met anybody more self-centered than myself. Sometimes I wonder, if it's healthy at all. . . But the thing is, I can't really help but think about myself all the time... I mean, other than myself (and those associated to it), what am I supposed to think about? No matter what I think about it has something to do with me... Sigh. I've tried!! Every single chain of thought comes back to something about myself. BLAH.
It's useless. Like the time Chris Silag made me not talk about Nick for an entire day. That didn't work. I kept myself in check for about 4 hours and then we passed a strip club and the stories just kept on pouring out of my mouth. ^_^*
Its too hot to think. Too hot to post. Too hot to be sick. Sick? Yes, sick. Again? Yes. Again. WHAT THE HELL is wrong with my immune system?! yellow/green/brown phlegm has become the norm for me. Not good, if you ask me. SIGH! I should probably go to the doctor's.. But not like anything they give me actually helps. feh. This sucks.
I'm such a stupid chick... I finally realize that everything has been onesided... Oh well, that makes goodbye onesided too. It's almost been a year. It's been long enough for me to learn that I'm stupid. It's time for me to give up.
Just spent an hour and a half installing greymatter into Jason's domain. I'm tired! It was so different than mine (which uploaded and everything w/ 0 problems).... S'all good, though!! Woohoo. I love how i can spend hours trying to make something look exactly the same as the previous version.
Guys are so dumb sometimes. They never know what we're thinking. Why is that? Girls are just as simpleminded as guys. Come on, it's so logical. Why don't they understand? Blah. After talking to girls about their guy problems. I wonder if all guys are totally clueless.
subject: Graduation, Grad Night, Meeting Garrett
time: 09:52 AM PST
dear friend,
Graduation - quite possibly the longest, hottest experience of my life. I've never actually willingly sat in the sun on a 100 degree day in black with long sleeves before. And I don't plan on repeating that experience again, either.
Grad Night - Fun, but tiring. I'm really going to actually miss some of the people I spent time with. =} Someone even won a bear for me in the UFO catcher.
Meeting Garrett - ^_^ Wow! It's like I already knew him, but I didn't... Haha. I mean, I knew what he looked like and how he acted and stuff. But like.. Yeah. ^_^* He had no clue who I was. I felt like a stalker.
We went to the nickel arcade. =] Man, I go too much.
It's kinda scary Michelle, how you always seem to hone in on what's bothering me the most. . . I keep on wondering if that's really what I'm doing... Settling. Ahh me! I hate being confused. Sometimes I even wonder if I put myself in this state of limbo on purpose... Argh. What is it that I want what is it that I want? I don't know!
;_; When I was younger, I watched seniors graduate and I was like wow, everybody's so sure of their future and so sure of themselves... Now I see that it was just an image that I projected over them.
Or maybe I'm a lone senior that's unsure of myself.
MadPimp.com::This domain THE shyt!Damn i jsut LOVE this doamin,i jsut came across it,and i just think its spectacular!The pop-up is just awsome,the layout is very very co0 and i love the splashpage even!
subject: All out of love - Air Supply
time: 12:00 AM PST
dear friend,
Lying alone with my head on the phone
Thinking about you till it hurts
I know you hurt too but what else can we do?
Tormented and torn apart...
I wish I could carry your smile in my heart
For times when my life seems so low
It would make me believe what tomorrow could bring
When today doesn't really know...
Doesn't really know!
-chorus-
I'm all out of love
I'm so lost without you
I know you were right, believing for so long
I'm all out of love
What am I without you?
I can't be too late to say that I was so wrong!
I want you to come back and carry me home
Away from these long lonely nights
I'm reaching for you are you feeling it too?
Does the feeling seem oh so right
What would you say
If I called on you now and said I can't hold on?
There's no easy way, It gets harder each day
Please love me or I'll be gone!
I'll be gone.
(chorus)
ahhh.... what are you thinking of? What are you thinking of..... What are you thinking ooooooooooffffffffffff?
I'm all out of love, I'm so lost without you, I know you were right... Believing for so long.. I'm all out of love, what am I with out you?! I can't be too late.. I KNOW I was so wrong!
Awww, my baby all nice and shiny from the shop. =D It looks so gooooood!... And check it... My former ride right next to it. The pink bike be the bomb baby!! It's a pink and purple huffy secret treasures w/ kickstand. No mods. =D it's soo tight even tho it's stock. ^_^* My bike, that is.
Nick Champion blog?... HmMmmm... ^_^* Wow, hecka people are looking for people I know, huh? Nick, Roozbeh, David Tepperman, Niall Stallion... Who's next?!!?!!?!?!
Last 10 queries :
california biach
embarassing up skirt phot
nick champion blog
E-male calenders
cheerleaders and ticklish
cute tite boobs
"What poetry tries to say
beautiful Taiwanese girls
pinoy blogs
jonny ngo
After hearing that I was sick, Jason went home, heated up some alphabet soup, put it in a thermos and left it at my front door w/ 3 comic books and his chococat stuffed animal. ^_^*
I'm so lucky to have people like this in my life. =]
Katie... But I understand... Hell, I don't know how I keep it up myself. ^_^; I guess I'm just easily narcissistic and self centered like that. =D WOOOOOOOO. That, and I don't truly believe anybody but you and me actually read it on a regular basis.
That won't change the fact that I'll miss you, though. :T Who will inspire me?
Michelle, you're lucky! To know what you want. Or to be more sure of it than before. Me, I'm in limbo as ever. I never really know what I'm looking for, what I'm chasing. Maybe it's just some childhood fancy, my desire to see the blacks and whites of life.
My main souce of troubles comes from my terrible insecurities, I think. I mean, most of the time I try to put on a face -- you know, that I'm tough, and that the things people say don't really touch me. And the fact is. Things do touch me. And I hate it. I hate the fact that I actually care when people I don't even know or care about make comments about me that I myself know are not true. I hate that I care when someone tells me the truth. That hurts the most I guess.
Sigh. Actually. I'm back at that insecure time of month again, too. Fuck female hormones.
I wonder why I'm always sick. I mean, there's got to be some logical reason, right? I really don't understand it. Other people stay out all night every night and they feel fine the next day. W h y me??? Why am I always the one that gets sick?!! BOOO. :( i guess i just have to take better care of myself.
subject: More search queries. These fascinate me.
time: 07:45 AM PST
dear friend,
Lately the search queries have been updating more than ever!! I think it's because it's finally summer time and people have extra time on their hands. HAHA! Even Roozbeh. Why he would EVER look for himself, i have no idea. Hee hee.
"Cute Pinoys" That sounds like something I would type in.
Last 10 queries :
Are you ticklish?
uci roozbeh
14 year old girl + rape +
love moan wav
woo hyuk +pictures
faye valentine
cute pinoys
pictures of cute cell pho
"shaved her head"picture
short girl
What I need is some closure. I've been chasing after him for so long, that I don't know what it is to like somebody else. I miss him so much... And yet... I've found someone else... But it's not the same... I was thinking about it the other day and I really sincerely believed that I could get over him for this someone else. . . but I can't.
Evidence? Today. I looked outside and realized it was summer. Suddenly a torrent of summer images washed over me like a giant wave and I found myself drowning in memories of the summer and him. God I miss him.
Summer. The time I've been waiting for all year. The time that I said to myself I would let my feelings go. The time when no one is busy, minds are idle, and the time I truly believed could make things change between the two of us.
Not as if, he ever had any real feelings for me I suppose. Not in that way, anyhow. I've probably been fooling myself all this time. And yet, I can't really say I ever expected more. I wouldn't be surprised if he had absolutely no feelings for me.
Perhaps that's just the protective cover I put over myself.
But now that I've met this someone else things are so different. It's someone who can actually be here for me. Someone who cares for me... More care than I actually know what to do with... It's such a comforting, yet scary feeling. No one's ever given me this 'taken care of' feeling before.
But is it right... This is summer... The time that I have been waiting for all year. And suddenly someone else comes and my plans change? What a fickle person am I to suddenly give up on my plans simply because I've been waiting for too long.
Oh, get out of my throat you stupid knot... Now's not the time to get all tied up. Sigh.
subject: Nothing to complain about...
time: 07:55 AM PST
dear friend,
I haven't anything to complain about the last few days, hence the lack of posting. :) Nothing especially delightful, either. Oh well. I'm excited -- I'm going to go see Rent in San Fransisco today with my friend Adrian! For free! It's great.
Welps. Only one more day left until the senior year ends. Aish. It doesn't feel like I'm ending something. Maybe I won't feel that way until I graduate. Maybe I'll never feel that way.
Blogs that even when maximized have 150 pixel wide text space. It doesn't make you seem like you have more text, it just makes you seem like you have less important things to say. =T
People with grammar worse than my own. It's the worst when they say 'grammer'. What are you, Canadian? Only a Canadian could find an alternative spelling that dumb. Fucking colours. HAHA (j/p, I love canadians.)
Those blogs that have like 1 line posts every single time w/ no explainations. BLECH.
Reading a blog... And finding it so intriguing, yet normal, that you keep reading? Maybe it's just me... But for some reason I was drawn into reading her entire page... Even the archives. O_o. Very strange.
Kim is living proof that I don't understand women. Penis pasta? Ramen? Is everything noodles? I guess I can stop buying expensive clothes, stop washing my car, stop brushing my hair (I don't do that anyway), stop talking in that voice that seems to work on girls but apparently doesn't, stop complimenting them, stop smiling at them, stop being mean to them (some like it rough), stop everything and just buy them some kind of noodle/pasta thing. Fuck me, I have figured out the meaning of life.
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YEP! You got that right... All you gotta do is buy me some noodles and I'll be happy. hahaa. The numbre one way to woo a chick : buy her noodles. =X Either that or Men's Pocky. Quite possibly the best snack ever created.
After a long period of consideration, I've come to the conclusion that I am quite possibly the most self centered and selfish person ever to walk the earth. Well. Aside from my mother that is. She takes the cake. But then, who else did I learn it from? Bleh. Perhaps one day, I will reach her caliber. That is my ultimate goal. And then I will at least be number one in SOMETHING.
So, yet again I've ffed up my life. That's the second time in two weeks. A new record for even me. What happened you might ask? Let me tell you what the fuck happened... MORE>>>>>
subject: It always makes me wonder...
time: 07:46 PM PST
dear friend,
Last 10 queries :
"short girl" pictures
ko-gal pictures
Faye Valentine
ticklish cheerleaders
"blumchen" "pink cloud" a
Kim Whoaa
nail salon school califor
assmaster2000
"she shaved her head"
"niall stallion"
The Guide To Multiple Male Orgasms. Wow!! This seems really cool. Haha.. A little tiring though, but cool. I should find somebody to try it out on. HAHA! Just plaaayin. Wow... The things that happen when I sit around and do nothing all day.
So, I know this guy named Anh... And we lost contact for a few months. (We both change names like crazy). But it always seems as if we somehow find each other again. This time was no exception.
Here's the story. Anh starts talking to this guy named Patrick who has the same car as him; then, he finds out the guy is from UCI. He asks Patrick about Nick... (For some WEIRD reason), and Patrick's like... Er? How you know Nick?
So Anh tells Patrick about me and Patrick's like whoa... I know that chick... And next ting you know, Anh is IMing me.
Strange happenings in the world of Kim. =T
Nick quote of the moment -- "I dont know what's scarier. The fact that you know everybody and their mother, or the fact that they all have something to do with me!"
