"If you know me! Don't read this! It's my private journal"... Yeah, right. If I know the person and I stumbled across something THAT juicy I'd totally read every single dirty little detail that's in there. Don't they know about reverse psychology? Maybe they do, and they're just taunting me like that.
I mean, come on jigga. It's published on the fuh-reak-in 'net! Give me a fuh-reak-in break -- Private. PSHHHHH. Between you and the other twohundred people a day that read your site, right? Right.
If you want a private online journal make it REALLY private... Like.. Don't anybody your URL. Don't sign guestbooks and leave your journal URL. Don't put any information/name/other people's names in your journal.
Whatever you do, just don't put up a little freakin note saying "if you know me, please don't read this." because it sends the exact opposite message. :) Of course, if you're doing it on purpose... That's another thing.
Boy oh boy do I have a mother of a headache. Thank goodness I have nothing to do today! Absolutely blissfully nothing. My computer came in. Joy! No case yet, though. So that's kinda useless.
Mindless teenagers bobbing their heads to a throbbing, pumping noise that is supposed to be music. And it would be music if the four on the stage could keep beat with each other. Of course, they can't. It would be music if the 'singer' stopped screaming and began to sing and stopped swinging the mic around causing feedback. The drumbeat is nice, though. Makes me want to dance.
Of course, I can't dance because... Well, I was alone. So if I did dance I would have looked like a moron. The collective would have looked at me even more weirdly than they did then. "What is she doing here." "What is a person like her doing here." I can see it in the glances they give me as I pass them, coughing from heavy fog of smoke.
"Take a flyer, it'll help your cough," says somebody as I pass them. I look up and he starts hitting on me. Great. That's just wonderful. I go outside to breathe -- and end up getting hit on by a scraggly 25 year old with no life but local band music while breathing in a million toxants exhaled by people carring even worse things that I probably don't want to think about.
I went back in. More head bobbing. I finally get earplugs and suddenly the music sounds decent. Oh whoops, it's a different band. Oh well, here goes nothing. I sit through all their songs.
Nope, still don't like it.
There's a band that played tonight. The lead singer is the younger brother of the lead singer from Incubus. They're called Vent. They just got signed. Maybe we'll hear about them one day. Like Papa Roach when they played around here -- haha, too bad they were ska before.
Anyhow, back to Vent. I should have probably stayed longer, since I had stayed for the rest of the shows -- supposedly this was the piece a piece. However, along with bobbing my head with the masses, I was encumbered by a large amount of yawns. Attacked by a case of them, really. So I headed home.
If there's one thing I hate... It's getting shots. Who the hell wants to get a needle stuck into your veins and have foreign ish pumped into your body? Not me! But apparently I need to get it done to go to college. Major bummer!
Of the 7 shots required to enter college I've gotten 1. Sure I've gotten my polio and all that ish that you need to go to HS... But...
2 MM / Hep A / 3 Hep B / Meningitis... Nope. Well 1 MMR. Boy, my parents were resposible about those shot things weren't they? :< This sucks! I HATE SHOTS!
subject: "I do this for myself!"
time: 08:12 PM PST
dear friend,
"I do this for myself!"... "Sign my guestbook! Give me hits! Show me fansigns! Give me your internet LoOoOooVe"
How often do you see a situation like that? WAY too often in my eyes. I read profiles and they all sound like these... independant "fuck you" types... But then they end up being "Give me your internet LooOooOOve cuz I'm in dire need of attention" types. What is it with people and saying one thing in their bios and then acting completely different in their blog? It makes no sense.
You maybe thinking "Well, aren't you a part of that hypocritical bunch, too? You have log! You have a bio! It MUST be true." Well, go read my bio? See any inconsistancies with my writing here and my writing there? If so, tell me so that I can re-evaluate my dislike for people who portray themselves one way and act another.
There are people that are inherantly messed up. People that play with your mind even though they don't know it. Or perhaps they do know it and find it amusing. It's annoying, when you get pulled into their game and you find yourself trapped like a fly in a spider's web. The more you struggle to get away the more you get caught in the web and the easier it is for the spider to eat you alive, barely moving because you're so exhausted from struggling. That's how their games work. They let you think you're away from them and when you've stopped... they come and suck the life out of you.
The only way to escape is to quietly die before the spider reaches you.
I'm beautiful! I said to myself in the mirror as I looked at my reflection. Matted hair, sticking straight up in the back like a peacock. That's exactly what I look like in the morning, too. A peacock. Not one of those strutting ones though... More like one that's been shot and is half dead lugging itself to its death site. But it's OK! My hair sucks but I'm still beautiful! Even with my eye boogers and dried drool hanging out of my mouth. . .
Boy, this self-esteem self-help book isn't helping me very much. :<
So I went to McDonalds for the first time in... I don't even remember how long. It's really weird, but it's almost like stepping back in time. One of those places that hasn't changed since the time I was a little kid going there with my mom.
It makes me feel nostalgic -- yet I get some strangely unpleasant flashbacks as well.
Like the time I saw a girl getting attacked [probably raped] in the parking lot there. I was 7 years old and it was late at night. My mom stopped by the McD's to pick up something for me to eat on the 40 minute ride home to our house from her work. [She owned a manicurist shop... and I stayed with her there all day.]
I saw a girl pressed up against the wall by a large guy. She was struggling and yelling "no!" and he slapped her across the face. I looked at my mom and she said "don't look, there's nothing we can do" so I looked forward, and tried to erase the image out of my mind. To this day, each time I pass that section of the store, I feel a certain amount of sadness.
Another memory that comes to mind is the image of me as a little kid, going in to buy things by myself because my mom was too tired from her 14 hour day to go in and buy some food. It makes me wonder if hard work is ever really worth it. Sure, we had lots of money back then -- but it's not like we had any time to spend it all...
Sometimes the things that are supposed to evoke the most happy of feelings can unintentially evoke sadness as well. Despite the reds and yellows and smiling faces at McD's... I know that's one place I where I don't really want to feel nostalgia at again.
There aren't very many things in the world that are as satisfying as taking a long pee after a long, long wait. Especially after a long long wait AND ridicule from friends. Not to say that anything like that actually happened to me today -- it's just a random observation.
Now, I have many pleasures in this world... Some very pleasureable and some not as pleasurable. An example of VERY pleasurable would be the obvious: sex/bowel movement/pee. Examples of the not as pleasurable [but still very pleasurable nonetheless] - Designing, reading, Sanrio... Well, Sanrio is somewhere in between.
So what is it about things that make them pleasurable? With all except one on my list it's a way to escape from the world by immersing your thoughts into one subject or one bodily action. Are those really the pleasures in life? The small escapes from your life?
How ironic.
I guess that's why people like drugs and alcohol so much. Those, too, allow one to escape from the daily ruckus and drown into a world where nothing really matters except for existance. Well, I wouldn't really know about it... But it seemed an appropriate way to express it.
So then, what are things IN life that can be pleasurable and not considered an outlet or an escape from emotions? Can you think of one? For me, even Sanrio allows me to set free my childish side... ^_~; So yeah... Pleasures...
There's a store near me called "Pleasures of the heart"
I'm so tired. From doing nothing. Something's wrong with my body something's wrong with me. It could be a mental thing -- but it feels so real. Maybe I'm neurotic/psychotic. It makes me want to rhyme.
Neurotic/psychotic/Lost without logic/Just had to blogit/Cuz I'm a cam bitch/Oh yeah/ Dont say you're the shit/ Dont say you're the bomb/ I don't give a tit/ Ahh fuck with me and you're gone.
Kim is tired. Hello my name is Kim and I like Polish weiners. Have you noticed that chinese sausages are a lot smaller but tastier than polish/german sausages? Coincidence? I think not.
I don't want to make it seem as if I'm making light of Aaliyah's death -- because it really is a tragedy. I'm just tired of all these people who are suddenly realizing that they should live their lives to the fullest just because somebody famous died.
People die every day and yet the average person always forgets their resolve to live life to the fullest. Why? Because they are scared of the consequences.
The funny thing is, some of the things that make you feel the most alive don't have any consequences at all. You just have to find them.
Anyhow, back to the subject at hand. I'm tired of reading about all of these people who are suddenly appreciative of their lives now that someone has died. Someone young. Beautiful. Someone famous. I mean, life was just as precious before she died and now people are finally realizing its worth? It makes no sense to me.
Oh well, at least those people are the ones who are taking Aaliyah's death in a more positive light.
After reading a bunch of blogs that I don't give a shit about, I think I'm going to add to the misery of the WWW and talk about what I did today.
-Took my first dump in a week.
-Went back to sleep
-Read about 30 pages that all either a. talked about aaliyah or b. talked about what they did that day.
-Ate
-Slept
-Took a Piss
-Changed out of my nightclothes and showered
-Went to the mall and bought $52.00 worth of Sanrio ish. ^^; piku!!
-Ate
-Took a piss
-Wrote this entry
I'm terrible when working with print. For some reason nothing ever comes out the right size. That, and things always either seemed too spaced out or too cluttered. :( Boo. Maybe I should take a class on print-art. Hehe. Maybe I'll actually start making $.
So many sites so little time. So many BORING sites so little time to find sites that are actually enjoyable. What do you do then? You surf surf surf. But then what about those people desparately looking for attention? You write a line in their guestbook like you care and you move on. You don't even have to write it like you care. Just write SOMETHING so that they know the hits they're getting on their site aren't purely from their own reloads.
Yes. That is my final answer. They don't care if you like their site or not [that's what they all write in their bios, right?], so you don't have to be caring when you write in their book. I'm not saying be rude. But don't be nice unless you really mean it! If you have nothing good to say, say something neutral instead.
I'm tired of all these nice, fake people on the 'net.
I used to be inspired all the time, that is, with ideas -- but never took the time to write things down or actually DO the things that I thought about doing. Now, the ideas come further apart and I find myself actually attempting some of them. It makes me wonder whether or not inspiration is always a good thing.
The ideas I used to get used to come and go very fast -- which made me lose interest in them quickly so even if I did start something, I would end it half-assed. Now, I have less inspiration but also get bored of things less which makes me go into things with all of my heart and tend to do LESS of a half assed job than I used to.
I must be allergic to computers. Stayed away from computers all day today and felt fine. Yesterday felt shittiest when around computers [Henry's house playing w/ Jason's new compie.] Today didnt feel shitty until I sat down and started playing on the 'net. Ghetto.
Feeling so crappy and all, these last couple days have become one big blur. I made a new splashpage for madpimp.com my main domain page [durrr], and have been working hard to finish the door business site. It's like an HTML overload. ;)
I began a 'design blog' on my main site as well, to write about all those amazingly designed sites that I envy oh-so-much. It's nice not to link personal sites for once.
I still haven't decided what I want on my new computer, but I'll think about it tomorrow.
Today was one of those days that starts out really dull and becomes really awesome. I went to the Children's Discovery Museum of San Jose today. I chose that over seeing a movie -- it was worth every moment, too. I got to play with all these gadgets, sit on a firetruck, play with bubbles, sand, and a million other cool things PLUS I got to make my very own authentic cornhusk doll. =] Mine actually came out really nice for a beginner's... It looks like the Blair Witch doll a little bit, only prettier.. :) It's got angel wings, which I love. If you see it's shadow only, it's beautiful. I still have yet to name it.
I saw my second yaoi [gay] anime today. I'm not so sure if I like WATCHING yaoi as much as I like reading it. Of course, Jason was pretty distracting with all his 'ews' and other... whatnots. :)
Anyhow... THat's about all. I didn't go to wal-mart or anything that exciting, but I can't think of anything deep or intelligent to write about seeing that it's 12 PM and I'm super tired. ^___^ So goooood night y'all!
The flowers must be trying to mate again after the sudden cold spell -- which in turn is making my nose react. Maybe my nose was a flower in its past life and right now it's 'itching' to get away from me in order to go mate with some hot sexy flowers.
Or maybe dust is just a bitch. My eyes are beginning to water too. Great, now my nose feels like shit and I can't surf the internet because i'm constantly squeezing my eyes shut hoping that whatever that keeps entering them will go away and leave them alone.
Thank you for thinking I'm an overachiever... :) I wish i could think the same about myself. Thank you for letting me be among such few links... :) I'm honored to be among such a small group. Thank you for your homage. ^_^* I'm really really flattered. I think your design is really beautiful. Thank you for putting me among your favourite links as well! :) And also for your nice posts on my page. It makes me feel loved! Thank you for remembering me even though we haven't talked since sophomore year. I really miss you and Duckiee and Vickiee. [wait, does that make me Kimieee?]... But yeah, Thanks for remembering me after so long!! :) And finally, Thank you to Duckiee for remembering me on her new domain too. ^_^
What makes people go to personal webpages? What makes me go to people's webpages. What is it to you whether or not I have a stick up my ass, like to fart in public places, or eat bugs for dinner. How does it make any difference at all when you read it or when I write it?
It's kind of disconcerting when I actually really sit here and think about it.
What makes me read other peoples pages? I'm a peeping tom by nature, I suppose. I've always been pretty nosy -- I like gossip, I like listening to other people's problems; I'm terrible at giving advice, though. I guess that's why I love reading so much. I get the same affect, but I don't have any obligations to anybody to say anything. I don't even have to nod reassuringly or smile or give a sad look. When someone writes something I find comical [even when they're dead serious] I don't have to stifle my laughter.
And I can cry, when someone's writing touches me enough without any "What's wrong?"
What, then, makes me write about my life here? I really don't know what drives me to do it. A lot of the time I end up sticking my foot in my mouth. For example, the bisexuality post. Afterwards, I considered taking it down in fear of people, friends, acquaintances thinking of me differently. But why do I care?
Why do I care at all, really? It's not like it matters anything to anyone else. And it doesn't, does it? Because I don't know half the people who are reading this -- and those that I do know won't give a fuck. It doesn't change who I am, it's just something new to add to who I am.
What is it to me? Why do I care? What is it to you? Why are you here? Haha, I find myself asking those questions every day... and still haven't been able to answer them.
To be passionate would be nice. For once I want to find a passion for something. MY passion for something. Something I can immerse myself into and forget about all else. I want something that I won't get tired of. Something that won't screw me over in the end. Something that I can love.
Do I ask for too much? Probably... But eh, that's life for you.
subject: Mental Image of the Day
time: 04:54 PM PST
dear friend,
Drunk people. Guy in bathroom naked, hiding himself with pillow. While others forced to lick things off each other. Orgy? Or just your average college hangout?
A lot of blogs that I've come across lately have been riddled with an extreme excess of swearing. It's not just a "fuck" here or there to emphasize whatever they're trying to say -- sometimes it can be two to three pieces of profanity PER SENTENCE. Now, that's alright too, if I'm only reading one sentence or if it's only one entry that's like that... However, in some cases the ENTIRE THING is just profanity after profanity. It's kind of scary, really. o_O
Some people think I'm a closet lesbian while others say I'm straight. Still some think I'm bisexual. So, what is it? I don't even know myself. To make things easier I've always said I was bisexual, but now I'm not so sure. I guess now that I'm out of high school, I can let this out into the open. ^_^;
I've always been attracted to women. Especially their breasts: I'm definately a breast type person. I enjoy watching lesbian porn. I even enjoy kissing girls and whatnot. The thing is, I'm also very very attracted to men. Characterwise, even moreso than girls.
I don't like men so much for their looks. From my standpoint, my attraction to women is purely physical/sexual. I have no intentions of taking up any girlfriends ever again -- girls are just too hard to deal with emotionally. I know -- I've had that uh, 'joyful' experience. I like men for their characters. It's the funny and cute things a guy DOES that makes me like him -- not so much his looks.
Then, the funny thing is, I also love very feminine gay men. -- Who end up being the opposite of what I just described above. They look more masculine yet act more feminine. Why, then, do I like them? Perhaps it's because opposites attract. ;) I don't know.
So what am I? Bisexual? Straight? Lesbian?
I think I'm more bi-curious than anything. Even though, I Love looking at girls and love...er.. playing with them, I would classify myself under the bi-curious genre. Afterall, I know that in the end when push comes to shove, I'd pick a guy.
Why? Because I can relate better with a guy.
So now, what is it with all these girls that say they're bisexual? Are they really bisexual or are they just bicurious and buying into the trend? Why is it that it's OK for a girl to be bisexual and not a guy?
If a girl is bisexual than it's normal -- sometimes it's even deemed as a good thing; but if a guy comes out and says hes bicurious he's automatically labeled as 'gay'. Maybe that's why the girl-bisexuality trend has become so rampant.
They can be 'controversial' or 'taboo' without actually being pushed out of the 'normal' category.
The part I find funniest is that most of these so-called bisexual girls have probably never even thought about being with another girl in their life let alone kiss them or want to make love to one. The thought of giving another girl cunnilingus probably gives them stomach queasies. [Wait, it gives me stomach queasies too, but that has more to do with my concerns for hygene.]
So what is it with them? Are they bisexual? Are they trendy? Are they lesbians in the closet? Or are they just curious like me?>
Tashia is in a word, awesome. Not only does she take care of her kids and her husband, she has the time [somehow!] to take care of her own domain. It's a sweet page too. She's nice, she's friendly. What more could someone need? I know I'll be going back to her site a lot.
Romel is into Anime, has his own UBB, can draw well AND he linked me! WOOT WOOT. Go me. :) I feel so honored.
James of Overturn.net is probably one of the cutest online guys I've come across in a very very long time. It's so shallow, but I love going back to his page just to see if his cam pic has changed. :P
Having a job in webpaging is such a killjoy for webpaging itself. After a hard day's work of layout-ing and color-ing and all the fucking whatnots of webpaging, I find the small joys of updating my webpage a pain in the ass. When not burdened with a job, the more to do on my personal page the better. When weighed down, I don't want to touch it.
Sometimes, it can be the opposite, though. When it's almost time for a deadline, I feel sudden inspiration for my personal page. Of course, any deviation or distraction from the work page and I'll be up until 3 or 4 AM trying to figure out where all the time went, and checking the clock in the corner to make sure I make my meeting on time.
While coming back from my webpage meeting with midtown doors, I passed by a lemonade stand. 50c for lemonade, the sign said. For some reason, I stopped without hesitation and got myself a cup of lemonade. I was their first customer. They hadnt even opened the cups yet. I only had dollar bills. Oh well, it was th best 1 dollar cup of lemonade I've ever had even if it did have seeds in it. ^_^** Well, only A seed. Singular.
Where I live, people don't really stop for anything. The Silicon Valley, always go go go. I live in the suburbs, so I guess it's not as bad -- but even as I was there, 5-6 cars passed without even pausing. Too bad for them, they'll never get to experience 50c lemonade happiness. I feel sorry for them.
It seems someone dislikes this girl just because she's white? That's so... so... ARGH. Maddening. You would think that in this world of wires and lighted pixelated screens, nationality/race wouldn't matter anymore. Nothing should matter at all, except for your personality, and how you portray yourself. There are some really stupid people out there, and I feel bad that that girl had to deal with one of them. :P
WOW! This girl has such large breasts! I wish I had large breasts like this! I don't know what I'd do with them, but look! Don't they look so pretty? :( Too bad I'm a short skinny Asian girl with no breasts in my genes. :P Sometimes I can feel very insecure about my body. I guess it's the same for everybody. . . I think my main embarassment are my non-existant breasts, though. Even my mom makes fun of me and calls me flat! ;_;
Wow, I feel so... Self-Centered. I mean, you know, more self-centered than usual. ^_^ I was so bored that I wrote a whole "About Me" page. As if this doesn't have enough information about me, now you can see ALL of me! -- Well, at least you can see me as I portray me on the Internet. I can't really say it's actually acurate. But, hey, it's better than nothing, right? ^^;
More and more I see domains that seem to have 'deeper' meanings to them. You know, something that supposedly sounds 'impressive', and has something to do with character. -Emotions/Intricacy/Mistify... That type of domain.... I go there, expecting to have that emotion evoked, or something purely intricate, or to be mystified... But am disappointed.
People probably feel the same way, when they realize madpimp.com isn't a porn site.
My webcam is a wonderous thing, but the pictures are actually starting to take up space! Haha, it might have something to do with the fact that I took more than 100 pictures in just ONE DAY! But no worries! Shake it off shake it off. ^_^ I'm totally stoked about my webcam! ...Still, after having it for a week... I LOVE taking pictures [if you couldn't tell], so yeah... More pictures more pictures! ^^* Too bad Im too lazy to post many... [plus they're SUPER MONDO dorky]...
A lot of times I find myself talking on AIM with people I care nothing about at all -- and ignoring the people I truly care about because they'll always be there. From now on I'll make a real effort to actually IM the people that I really like and just ignore those bastards that try to distract me from those that are the ones that actually deserve attention.
That means boo boo, rayness, chr is, danilo, rooz beh, arjel...yeah... =} all'yall that i've been ignoring lately. The ones I actually turn to when I need someone to talk to for real.
AIM - so superficial. Maybe I should go on another sabbatical.
Speaking of Hemingway, I felt especially learned the other day while watching Cowboy BeBop. Near the end, one of the characters reflects on a story -- and it happens to be a short story by Hemingway. At first, it was really strange because as I was watching, I kept saying to myself, "No way! That's not it... He CAN'T be talking about THAT story. I actually KNOW that story."... It wasn't until he said "Kilimanjaro", that I realized for sure that I DID know the story.
At least the story was followed with, "Yeah, I hate that story."
It really is falling, isn't it. It's like letting yourself lean back, not knowing whether or not there's anybody there to catch you. And then after you've been caught, you don't know whether or not you'll get dropped again. I wonder where 'falling' really came from, though.
"I'm falling in love". I mean, who ever thought of that? Did somebody jump out a window and say "I'm falling for you"? [hemingway].
Funny how there's always so much I want to say, but afraid to, because I'm afraid of offending someone, or hurting someone, or making someone angry. So many things I want to vent, but I can't. I really wish I didn't give a fuck and could write shit about anybody that I wanted to.
Yesterday was a funny ass day. Spent most of it filming for my Striped Hat "movie" (Wishing on a Jet Plane). I can't wait to start editing! My movie's kinda crappy [aiiee!] but its OK, because it's my first one.. Tee hee! Super corny, like me though!
Anyhow, yeah lets just say there's ukalele and shooting stars involved. ^_^ It's really silly and dumb. I'll be sure to give it another plug when it comes out! ;)~
I learned for the first time that I can be a terrible writer. Yes. Even me. ;) Haha. I mean, I can't write scripts / dialogue at all. I'm only good at writing story-like prose ish. I guess it comes from all those stories I used to write when I was little.
I never was interested in writing plays.
But all good, some day I'll get over it and make an actual script. And it'll blow everyone away. I swear. It'll happen.
Jason can be so adorable sometimes. ^_^ Last night, we were watching Cowboy BeBop 6 together and he fell asleep right there. ^_^* Didn't want to make him drive home in that state so I just let him sleep. Aww! He's still there right now. What a cutie.
Funny thing, he asked me if I wanted any name labels and I said "sure!"... And then he asked me what I wanted them to say, "Should they just say Kim?" and so I replied "Kim is fine". So now I have name labels that say "Kim is fine". He also took it to another level and wrote "Kim is HELLA Fine"
^_^ I have a big day today! First to SF where we'll go to the 2 story Sanrio [among other things... tee hee], and then to Atherton where I'll be attending a goodbye (;_;) party for one of my friends.. Aww! She's going all the way to BYU!... UTAH...?!?!... Crazy far.
Anyhow hehe. I'll take tons of pictures and show them off later. I'm sure I'll have some kind of adventure.
Lost my glasses and spent half an hour looking for it in my room because I could have 'sworn' I had it on when I went from here to there. Looked down here, too. And in the kitchen. Couldn't find them anywhere. Finally put on my contacts and looked in there again. And then again in the kitchen.
Just finished watching a show called 'The Stand-In' or 'P.A.', standing for 'Private Actress. It's about a girl who gets hired to be a so-called 'Private Actress'. A private actress plays the role in real-life, for one or more persons. For example, in the first one, she gets asked to play somebody's daughter who was killed a long time ago. The man didn't believe that his daughter was actually dead... So she came in his last month of life to be by his side.
It's hard to explain it, without making it sound silly, but it really was an amazing show! I watched almost the entire thing in just two days. ^_^* HohoHo.. Anything that gets me away from the computer for this long MUST be pretty durned amazing, right?
MUAHAHAHA.
And even better -- Jason got Cowboy BeBop 6 today!! WOOT WOOT.
I find myself not being able to stay in a bad mood for very long. . . But that doesn't prevent me from not having a good day, it seems. Yesterday [aside from the night time] was a day where my mood tossed back and forth from livid, to depressed to a happy enough 'alright'.
I don't think I can blame it on PMS, but I'd like to. I guess the only person I have to blame it on is myself. Sleep does wonders for my mood. [That, and What's Michael!] I feel fine today. ^_^ Not great like usual, but I'm getting there! WOOT WOOT!
^_^; I have a silly story to tell about Jason, later.
Two weeks ago, a mosquito was stalking me. I could hear it, but couldn't see it. It made the mistake of landing on my monitor. I slapped it -- and there it was stuck, not in the middle, but to the right and up of the middle. Maybe in the middle of the right and upper fourth of my monitor.
It annoyed me at first, but I was too lazy to clean it off. Today, it fell off. Now, I kinda miss the poor fella.
I guess since I have a webcam now, I should start a gallery of all my funniest webcam moments. ^^* [something I know at least twopeople will find amusing. ^_^;]. And plus, it'll be a good way for me to fill my currently empty days! WOOT WOOT.
Ohh, and maybe I should put something on the sidebar too. What a novel idea! ^_^*
If you read the list of Keywords people have typed in [in order of how many hits per word], at one point it says "sleepy big fat japanese penises with decal women pussy"
I don't know whether to laugh, or do be really worried.
Maybe I should change the name of my site from "drunk naked stick figure girl pictures of kim and katie"
to "sleepy big fat japanese penises with women pussy"
subject: Surfing all morning. No really.
time: 11:56 AM PST
dear friend,
Though it has the same general layout of the usual blog, I find this site (1) beautiful for some reason. This guy (2) has a unique writing voice. I can't tell if he's not a native speaker, or if it's contrived. For some reason, I like it anyway. This girl (3) doesn't need to impress anyone. . . I respect that.
I have nothing to say. I double posted and I'm too dumb to delete this. So here I am, writing something new to replace it. I feel like a complete moron.
Where I sit, the door 3 feet to my left opens directly out to my backyard. Just now, a squirril came hopping along with a walnut, happy with his find, trying to look for a place to bury his happy walnut. He took about 2 steps into my house, and I started at him... Making him drop his walnut and prance 2 feet back. When I was quiet again, he came back, took his walnut, and walked away, never looking back.
It's like my ties with people. I've always wanted to come close to a squirril. There are times when I even slowly stalked up on one, trying to get as close as I could without the little thing running away. But then, when the little bugger came at it's own free will, I scared it away. Just like I scare away people that love me, and try to entice those that stay away.
I found it amusing that he was brave enough to grab the walnut in the end. It got what it wanted, afterall. Once again, Patrick is right. I think too much.
I'm kind of liking this splitting up between blog/poetry/ongoing story thing. It's making me write less in my blog, but I think it's for the better. I realized today that I dislike journals that mix poetry and prose. It just doesn't work that way.
People probably feel the same way about journals mixed with web logs.
Yeah go there and sponsor him [tell him, so he can put you on]... :) They vote next monday, so yeah! Won't hurt to just put him in your blog (AND PASS IT ON!) ... TEe hee.. YAY. ^_^* It's so cute.
Funny, how on the day I have absolutely nothing to do, I haven't written at all. I suppose it's because I have absolutely nothing to write about. The truth is, I'm tired. Really tired. I don't know what's wrong with me. Maybe it's my body, maybe it's my mind. Or the two of them working in conjunction and making me super lathargic.
Lethargic. I haven't used that word in ages. It makes me remember last year's English class. Abulic. Bombastic. Yes. It's been a while.
I got invited to a good-bye party today. How exciting... Yet scary at the same time. It makes the going-away seem so much faster. My best friend [seen below] is leaving for cal on Friday. I'm leaving for UCI in less than a month.
Look! It's me and Kim testing out my webcam!... It works... And my new Kogepan thingie too. HEHE. :P~ Just stillshots for now. My connection/computer sucks booty.
I started a story a while back about a girl, and her quest for love in all the wrong places. I felt inspired again when I posted it on cynicworld.com... Until I realised you're not supposed to keep posting onto your own story. However, I really want to finish it, despite how much I want to see what other people will do with it. I'm thinking of putting it into a diaryland account or something. Self-publishing programs make things just so much easier on me. ^_^; I like it.
WOOHOO! Someone thought my blog about peeing while sitting down [and its conveniences] was amusing! GO KIM GO! ... And I didn't even have to leave the house. What a RUSH!
For the first time in a long time we haven't seen each other for more than 2 days. I miss him. I want to hold his hand. I want to fall asleep on his shoulder. I miss the little things... I even miss him making fun of me. Argh. Oh well, we're getting sundaes tonight. Sundaes on Sunday night. Suh-weet.
a VERY cute girl (2:10:17 PM): i mean
a VERY cute girl (2:10:27 PM): Nuts
Niall13 (2:10:31 PM): oh
Niall13 (2:10:32 PM): right, yeah
Niall13 (2:10:35 PM): i like those too
a VERY cute girl (2:10:45 PM): HOHOH
a VERY cute girl (2:10:50 PM): that is gong on my page
subject: I'm a cracknut fuckbucket
time: 01:14 PM PST
dear friend,
Well here it is, a Live Journal... By yours truly! Haha, I never thought it would happen. But it did! I got tired of signing everyone's book with 'anonymous', so I got an account. And next thing you know I'm modifying it. And next thing you know, I'm writing poetry in it. So yeah. That's where my poetry's gonna go. Don't like? Suck it fuck bucket
subject: Yay... Another SPOPper...
time: 09:24 AM PST
dear friend,
envy.nu/bustin SUH-WEEEET~!! ^_^ A SPOPper actually remembered me?! ;_; How sweet. I'm definately linKing him up and putting him in my favourites. HOhOho.
This guy's blog is truly awesome. I don't know why, maybe it's the one liners [easy reading?] that made me read the blog all the way through. Not the average 'blog' by any means. I like it. ^_^* Now just gotta find the rest of his ish.
This was the true story of four strangers paying to
live in an apartment and have their lives uploaded
to find out what happens... when people stop being
polite and start getting real.
-------
How funny, it's a site about people living in Irvine. The most boring city in the world! Haha, but still. It's the city I'll be living in soon. Even stranger that most of them are going to UCI. ^_^* Thank goodness they're all social science majors! I wonder if these people are any indication of the types of people I'll run into @ good ole UCI. ;)... Maybe not. It would be interesting, though.
Started watching Angelic Layer today. What a coincidence that I made a doll of myself today. ^_~. I don't think that's how my own Angel would look like though. Let's see...She'd be a small fast type tho, definately. Hohoho. Gosh... Now I have to read up on Angelic Layer. Cant think~! Hahaha
Teehee... This page allows you to create those annoying little dolls so that they look like you... Look! It's me! Baggy socks, funky hair, maroon lugz and ALL! :D hahah kickass, huh? It heckof looks like me. ^_~
subject: #1 GB Entry of all time
time: 01:39 PM PST
dear friend,
I got your autograph at a Key Club Convention in April, and my friend Long hugged you.Your presentations were really entertaining; so entertaining we went to 3 of them.
I do admit, this is one of the lamest, boringest, normalest layouts I've ever done... But I think that for right now, it's exactly what I need. That, and I'm lazy as heck. :) But yeah... I hope you enjoy the whatevers that are here... And I'll try my best to add more content. ^_^
subject: Revenge of the DigiCharat
time: 12:37 PM PST
dear friend,
This chick has DigiCharat starring on her page. NARF! I know it's cute and all, but I wonder if she's even seen the show. Excuse me while I go and gouge my eyes out! ;_; Of all the anime I've seen, I have to say one of the ones that I actually DISLIKE is DigiCharat. SO FRICKIN ANNOYING! DigiCharat = Unrelentless in the annoyance factor. It's not like I'm cappin on the chick or anything. Her page just reminds me of the mindless 3 hours it took me to finish the series. ;_; WHYYY.
I always knew my existance was pathetic. I just never knew exactly how pathetic I was until this very moment. Finding myself staring at the bottom loading bar as Greymatter rebulds my entries. I suppose that's not TOO pathetic. But finding myself staring at the bottom loading bar as it rebuilds 20-40 out of 227. That's even more pathetic. However, even more pathetic is the fact that I was staring at the bottom loading bar rebuild 20-40 out of 227 as I rubbed my mouse arm -- sore from its recent extrenuous excercise AND wishing that the bottom loading bar was as interesting as the defragmenting screen -- now THAT... Is super pathetic.
Yes yes. I live in a sad... sad... world. I need to get out more often. :P
It's one of those posts where I write about what I did today. Of course, it's 9 AM, so I have TONS of things to say. This is dedicated to Michelle.
I woke up this morning. Yeah! Can you believe it. I really did. And then I considered going to Wal-Mart. Or was it Wal-Greens? Maybe it was Target. But now I'm kind of scared of going there because a display might fall down on me and I might get crushed and die and then I wouldn't be able to blog anymore. So then I forgot about it and I rolled over and went back to sleep. Got woken up (like I do every morning) by my mom singing loudly, walking nakedly into the backyard for her daily dip in the jacuzzi. Yeah. We have a jacuzzi. Into which I'm not allowed to dip because I haven't showered yet today. Oh well. That's beyond the point.
So what was I writing about? Oh yes. What I did today. When I finally dragged myself out of bed, smelling like drool and other nasty things, I took a pee. YES! A pee. Now, unlike a guy, I pee sitting down. Sometimes, this is beneficial. Because right when I was peeing, I felt a poo coming on. So I didn't have to do anything, change positions (or even stop peeing!)... I just pooed my day away and that was that. It was beautiful.
And then... The most unbelievable thing happened. I got on the computer... AND I GOT EMAIL!! HOLY CRZAAAPPPP. But it turned out to be pornmail. :( Who knew?! It seemed so innocent. "Barley Leggal Young Men". Whatever Barely Leggal is anyhow.
So yes. That's the excitement of my morning. WHAT A CRAZY LIFE I LEAD! And it's only 9AM. HOHOHO. I have the entire day ahead of me.
It's so rare in your life that you meet a friend that you will cherish for the rest of your life. It's even more rare when it's a group of friends that you will cherish. Kim created a video about all of us -- about our time together during the last year. And after having it sit on my table for a day, I finally brought up the courage to watch it. I knew it would be emotional... I just didn't realize it would be this beautiful.
The video says so many things that words can't say. And imagine this... After the video was over, she thanked me for being there for her. Thanked me. I should be the one thanking her. Kim, Grace, Jon, Roy, Leslie... And even Hyung... They all made my year. I don't know what life would have been like without you guys. Harder definitely. Less fun. Lonely.
A whole year in which they put up with my whining. My incessant complaining. My tendancy to talk about things that have nothing to do with anything. My narcissistic way of taking pictures of myself ALL THE TIME. :) Thanks for putting up with that.
It hurts, knowing that we're all going our separate ways. It hurts knowing that we'll probably lose contact with each other at one time or another. At least I know one thing. . . Last year was a year to remember. ^_^ :teary eyed:
I'm so emotional these days... College is coming so soon and it feels like my HS world is disappearing. Oh well. ^_^ I'll always have my video.
It makes me wonder.. AM I trendy?... I work(ed) at one of the most supposedly 'trendy' stores in the mall. Not that I bought anything. Well... Except for this one skirt that all the girls made faces at when I tried it on... I don't know why! I tmakes me look like I have wings coming out of my sides! I'll take a picture and show you guys... But anyhow.
I know my clothes aren't trendy... Most of the stuff I wear could only be called trendy in like.. Japan or Thailand. [And even then, it's Thai BOY style...] My site isn't really trendy [is it?... I hope not]. My favourite outfit is my tattered old lugz with my super baggy socks jean skirt and any shirt... HOhOo. ^^* Either that or my red and white polka dot boxers with my Hello Kitty shirt hehe.
Maybe I'm so strange that it MAKES me trendy in that trying-to-be-different way. ^_^ You know. Leave me alone so I can be an individual with my friends! ... Yeah. Hehe. Of course, I DO get a lot of "do your friends all dress like you?"... And I simply reply "I know NO ONE who dresses like me"..
But of course, trendiness isn't JUST the way you dress. Its a state of mind. Maybe my state of mind is trendy. I know I've caught myself saying shit like "OMG! That's sooooo cute" at one time or another. At times I emulate the 'popular' ish, usually when I feel insecure. Which is about 2 days a month.
Maybe people aren't really 'trendy'. Maybe they're just insecure and need to fit in. Maybe they don't even like what they do/wear/have. Weird. I never thought about it that way before. To some, it comes so naturally.
I've never been great at being introspective. Guess it's because I care too much about what's on the outside of me. Who cares about what's going on inside when things outside are falling apart? I don't know. Who cares about anything at all when it comes down to it.
subject: One of those not so vague ones...
time: 10:40 AM PST
dear friend,
"I have never been in love before... but I have dreamt and thought about it. And I will love you -- if that is what you so desire."
-Sayonara
After having chased something for so long, sometimes you forget what is in your hands... Or what has fallen in your hands. Blind, to what is around you. Blind -- to what you should have seen. And again, blind, to your own emotions. But then when the darkness clears away and what you want to be yours is still there, waiting. You thank the heavens. It could have been tragic -- but it wasn't. I am so grateful.
WHAT THE HELL??... Alright, I'm not really one to be... shocked [usually], but I think this definately takes the cake as one of the strangest things yet on the 'net that I've come across.
Considering that the book became a movie -- I guess I shouldn't have expected much. I figured, yanno, most of the classics have made it to the big screen... Maybe First Wives is a closet classic. Given, I liked it enough to read it all the way through [ which isn't actually saying much ] -- I still don't understand how it could have made it to the movies.
It's a freaking porno! It's a friggin romance novel set in the late 80's -- And that's it. Some old woman's fantasy about high society, revenge on her ex-husband, and sexing like crazy.
Never gone so long without writing something before, I don't think. :) Anyhow, I've just been recooperating from the wild weekend at SPOP [UCI Orientation]... DAMN... I thought this was supposed to be one of those lame-o things that ppo just get together and no one really knows each other... Blah blah..
But.... by the end of SPOP I had 1. Run through a neighboring dorm complex in only my underwear [the only girl in a group of like 15 guys]... I lost at poker and went out to do my dare... And they all JOINED me.. AWWW HOw sweet! That was definately my first time running with ONLY underwear on. Hope no one took any pictures HAHA... It's like Audrey Hepburn style "I've never even run with my underwear ALONE.... With other men, it's MOST unusual" ^^***
2. Got tarepanda stolen for hours as I wandered around deleriously without sleep. :P~
3. Gained a new nickname "SHADY" because I'm apparently 'Shady' looking. HAHA. "OMG She sets of my SHA-DAR".... HAHA.. Roiiite.
But yeah... Overall it was really great. ^_^* Some of the activities were kinda lame-o but the people in my place were toite [both the incoming freshmen and the staffer people].... ^_^* It makes me want to staff for it... Hohoho. Maybe I will.
Funny, though. When we split up by major... I was one of 3 girls in a group of all guys. ;_; Hehe. It's all good. :P At least the other girls weren't manly
WOW! 
